Suits and Guarders - Blog for Suits and Guarders--a cartoon by Ian Johnson

I Am a Renaissance Man

9/11/2018

One of the first "Suits and Guarders" comics I created.

All in a day's work!

The first comic here is an older piece that many subscribers have probably seen; the other is a recent work that is similar. They each have a poetic feel to them that is aided by the use of illustrations. Apart from the lettering and subtle changes to Jonathan’s features, it’s surprising just how little has changed with the drawing style over the three years between the two comics. Do you see how those architecture courses improved my lettering?

The second cartoon is simply one I had to share with subscribers. This comic blends all of the major tasks, issues and idiosyncrasies of lifeguarding into eight neat panels. Also, unlike the other, each panel has a rhyming couplet and many are in iambic pentameter. I guess that Shakespeare fellow really did have an influence on me after all! This comic is also one of the few to feature all of the lifeguards in one comic, so this one is quite a treat! Another amusing point: when I pulled out the older comic this morning, I realized that they are exactly 300 comics apart. The first is number 22, and the second is 322. I can assure you, that wasn’t planned. That’s probably why I laughed out loud when I saw it.

On another tangent, recently my family was coming home from a baseball game and my dad spotted a drafting table sitting on the side of the road in our neighborhood. After pulling around and inspecting it, we figured out that there were no problems with it except that we couldn’t fit it into the car. This thing was 5’ x 4’ x 3’ standing up. We put it on top of the roof, securing it with the runners and our arms. Our arms were about to fall off when we got to the house….just kidding! Well, actually no, not kidding but it wasn’t very far and we drove very slowly.

The next morning, I showed my instructor our “barn find” with pictures on my phone. Thank goodness for cameras, because there was no way I was strapping a drafting table to my four-banger. After he looks at it, he takes me to the supply closet and pulls out a straight edge and says, “The school had these ordered, but they didn’t fit the drafting desks.” So now I have a $200/$300 drafting table with a straight edge which took zero dollars out of my wallet. I know God gave me a sense of humor and a love for comics, but now I’m convinced he wants my to be an architect!

Guidelines, Deadlines and Compressions

8/30/2018

Kurt being Kurt, and Ellen being Ellen.

There was a guy that actually did this at an in-service training over the summer. He did it as a means to show how NOT to do compressions on a victim. This person had one of those amusing personalities…...in fact, this person was me. Strange enough how all the gags I’ve performed at the pool seem to reflect the closest with the manner of my cartoon character Kurt. I guess one could say I am slowly transforming into him. (maniacal laugh “bwhahahaha-”)

I finished another batch of comics recently and plan to do one more batch before homework picks up. The total I am pushing to accomplish during the month of August is 18. I have jokingly told my parents that I can finish in three years’ time what a syndicated cartoonist does in a year. Just wait ‘til it’s my only job and then I’ll have to stick to a real deadline mandated by someone who isn’t me! It’s kinda funny to think that I work for myself. It doesn’t pay yet….so I guess it’s not really work at all.

The Tangled Hose

8/20/2018

I really love Thomas' posture in this one.

One of the lessons I’ve learned in life: Everyone is good at something. One person can’t be good at everything.

Many comics are fueled by the element of reaction.

Jonathan and Bernard are the straight men of this comic strip, but you can quickly see that they have a little flare for stirring up trouble. I don’t think they will follow through on this one because there is no way that Thomas is going to miraculously become the next Houdini.

I’m still tied up at the moment in this one.

The reference to “Caliban” comes from Shakespeare’s “The Tempest.” Caliban is a monster that dwells on an island somewhere near Naples and in one of the acts, he meets a drunkard by the name of Stephano and becomes fixated on his wine. When Caliban is crawling about praising him for the contents of his bottle, Stephano says “Come, swear to that, kiss the book. I will furnish it anon with new contents, swear.” Like Caliban, Thomas is crawling on the pool deck.

Out of Class and Upstage

7/23/2018

Thomas is tangled in the water hose in a recent comic.

The busy summer is coming to a close….ok, not yet. Summer school is finished, however I am still attending rehearsals for a musical so I’m not there yet. About one month ago, I began rehearsing as part of the ensemble for Orange Community Players production of Oklahoma. I started late only because I did not intend to be in the show. I felt I had too much to do with summer school and work but theatre almost always has a shortage of guys. Guess who has to sing and dance now?

Since being out of summer school for a little over a week now, it’s been nice to sleep in each morning. Technically, I’m gonna need it because rehearsals are running a little bit later now as we get close to showtime. With gathering at the theatre every night and the production set to open this coming Thursday, it will be a busy week for all of the cast and crew.
If you are local in the triangle area, tickets may be purchased online at:

Orange Community Players

In the cartoon world, I’m getting a little work done with “Suits and Guarders” and in the process of doing copyright for “Ivan the Terrible.” I plan to get more done in August before the next school year cranks up. The architectural technology program is turning out to be a good fit for me so I am looking forward to classes starting back again.

Hose-a-constrictor

7/16/2018

Thomas is tangled!

There is no proper guidebook for housekeeping when one becomes a lifeguard, probably because every facility is different. Instead of a book, lifeguards have a checklist with daily chores which is discussed briefly by supervisors at an in-service. Whether or not the chores get done really depends on how thorough the staff is, how crowded the pool gets, or if we were really paying attention when we were briefed. Personally, I am glad that I don’t have to find something like this in a manual but I might look at it differently if my comics ever come to life.

Even the most coordinated sort of person may sometimes gets stuck in a peculiarly tangled situation. Unfortunately, Thomas is not one of those blessed with the ability of eye-hand coordination! I came up with this idea when I was watching a guard hose down the locker rooms at an outdoor pool about one year ago. While he was walking around with the hose trailing behind him, I began to ponder the “what if” the hose got tangled? The strangest things sure seem to enter my mind.

Now that summer school is over, I will have a little more spare time for cartooning again. This comic is the first of six in a series, because sometimes my imagination just runs wild!

On Making Cartoons

6/25/2018

Three weeks ago, I described the crazy things that can take place during rec swim. This week I reveal the hilarity of the lap swim hours. Lap swim begins at 6:00 in the morning and proceeds throughout the day, but the lively and humorous times generally start around 7:30. I think the reason is that by 7:30, the crowd who are trying to swim and get to work have mostly left. They are literally just trying to “get-er-dun” and get to work on time.

Many of the the lap swimmers where I work know of my cartoon and quite a few of them were my earliest subscribers. It’s all one large family where they jokingly heckle one another if one of them hasn’t been in the water in a while. Sometimes they banter to take a break from swimming laps too. There are many stories that they have shared from their lives, sometimes serious stories and other times just outright funny. Some of these stories, I have made into cartoons, which makes “Suits and Guarders” a fun collaboration, especially when it comes to my “lap swimmer” character.

I printed out the first panel of this comic and posted it on the bulletin board at the pool and encouraged the lap swimmers to fill in the blank on what they thought was the reason for tearing down the diving board. Not everyone draws cartoons, but most people are gifted humorists. I was intrigued at how each response, independent of each other, ranged from being seriously thought out to completely off the wall. Here are the responses, which may become cartoons at a later date:

Because If you didn’t know how to swim and you used it, you would drown.
Too many swimmers were clipping their feet doing flip turns.
Because it was broken!
Increased insurance cost?
People abused the privilege.
To make way for the curly-que 15 foot slide and parachute drop.
Not deep enough water? Someone got hurt?
Wasn’t high enough to hang swimsuits
City or State regulation regarding open deck space.
Too many casualties with the kayakers below.
Click here to see the ending of the comic above: Suits and Guarders on Tapastic.
And for a great example of a “collaborative cartoon,” try “Deep Dark Fears” by Fran Krause also on Tapastic. It will give you new things to shiver about!

Lessons in Laughter

6/6/2018

Sketches of a few scenes from the day.

Currently with my summer school schedule, I am not really available to work much at the pool, except for Fridays. This Friday, I was reunited with many lap swimmers whom I have not seen in months. One even gave me a hug just because we had not talked in ages. Another lap swimmer jokingly asked me in response to my previous blog if I had been to any good picnics recently. The small community of lap swimmers is the real reason why I love working morning shifts.

But the real gift of this past Friday came during recreational swim when a group of young guys walked in for free swim. They were all between the ages of 16 and 19 so I knew from the moment they walked out onto the pool deck that there was going to be some limit testing. There are easily eight comics here. Do you agree?

A few of the guys did not bring a swimsuit, so they decided to check the lost and found hamper on the deck, wearing only their underwear! (We talked about other ways they could have handled this.)
One guy jumped into the pool with his socks on and three more were going to do the same thing but I had the first guy hop out and take off his soaking wet socks.
One did a backflip off the side so I had him sit out for ten minutes.
Another guy was running and slipped on the deck. I checked to be sure that he was okay and then said in a cheeky tone, “I guess we just learned why we don’t run on the deck.” Of course, he and his friends all laughed.
Another proceeded to run after witnessing his friend slip and fall so I sat both of them out.
I told the guys to use the two step rule when jumping in the deep end. This is just a way to slow down the momentum before hitting the water. I quizzed one of them about how many steps he really took. He hesitated and held up three fingers with a grin on his face.
One guy acted like he was throwing the basketball into the hoop, but instead, threw it at another guy’s head.
The second guy I sat out for running said, “I have one more minute left, right?” I shook my head with a smile and said, “Three more.” All his friends burst out laughing.

All of the stories above are true, without fabrication or exaggeration.

One of the guys was really interested in being a better swimmer and was asking about taking swim lessons. He also had the desire to learn how to do a flip turn. He was asking questions about how it was done. When I got off the stand on my down rotation, I hopped in the water and gave him the basics, and he probably wasn’t expecting that to happen. Once I gave some instruction to him, two more of his friends had joined in, and then another two. Sure enough, I was teaching all ten of them how to do a flip turn and how to dive from the side by the end of my shift.

Since Friday, I have spent time writing down dialog and thinking about developing a few teenage characters to add to the mix of Suits and Guarders. While I am still not sure where this will go, one thing is certain--it will be funny. And the characters will be very likeable because all of these guys were. Even though I don’t often work at the pool anymore, these strange, eventful and hilarious moments always seem to find me which is why I am still writing comic strips!

Let's Have a Picnic!

5/28/2018

Happy Memorial Day!

Memorial day is a wonderful time for picnics and remembering our soldiers who have given their lives for our freedom. This cartoon is really just about picnics but I thought I would share it with you during this holiday weekend.
There are quite a few outdoor pools that are set up with grills right beside them. So in many ways, this comic was screaming to get written. I think Arnold is hopeful that someone will bring him some food. Kurt, on the other hand, isn’t so sure.

There are perks to having a grilling station near a pool, unless Hansel and Gretel start leaving bread crumbs on the pool deck for the wildlife. Then look out for the furry visitors!

Mind the Water

5/20/2018

Long days of summer are just ahead of us. This marks the time for picnics by the pool or going to the beach with family. For many of us, there is water involved. Once school is out and spring comes to a close, we immediately rush to the water to frolic without thinking about others or our own safety. So before you grab your towel and head out to the pool, keep in mind these tips for safety.

General Safety Tips:
Always have an understanding of the rules at each destination where you swim.

Always swim with a buddy. Whether you are young or old, a beginner or a competitive swimmer, never swim alone.

Always stay hydrated by drinking water or eating hydrating snacks (popsicles, watermelon or other fruit), especially when outdoors.

Always use sun protection: hats, clothing, and lotions which are SPF 15+.

No lifeguard on duty:
Hotel pools are the best example of “Swim at your own risk.” Parents are the lifeguards at these pools. Please teach children that they must wait for parent’s permission before entering the pool area and before they enter the water. Be aware of all children in the water. Be vigilant!

Lifeguard on duty:
Lifeguards are employed for safety. Parents should be present and keep an eye on children. With a lifeguard on duty, you don’t have to watch them like a hawk, but be present to help with understanding and following of rules.

Lake/Beach:
Always swim in the designated area. If the area is not defined, be cognizant of how far you venture out because it’s difficult to determine depth in murky water.

Remove any objects that are unsafe. Let a lifeguard know if there is a dangerous object in the water. (Jellyfish, broken glass, large branches)

Boating:
In states where no life jacket law is in place, the US Coast Guard mandates that anyone under the age of 13 years wear a life vest. So the best rule is this: Always wear a life jacket when you are boating!

Let Her Rip!!

5/7/2018

Thomas loves hosing things down.

Thomas clearly enjoys hosing down locker rooms, but doesn’t seem to grasp that Kurt may not enjoy it, even though he may deserve a good soaking! This particular strip is part of a set of outdoor comics which I pretty much wrote in one sitting after working at a few outdoor pools. There is a significant contrast in atmosphere, patrons and duties when comparing indoor lifeguarding to outdoor lifeguarding: The beating sunlight and neighborhood recreation swimmers versus a noisy HVAC with light fixtures and the lap swimmer that just got off work.

The secondary duties that a lifeguard has to perform are much different however. For instance, indoor locations require locking up and setting a facility alarm system at closing. Outdoor locations involve locking up as well, but also placing things like a backboard and shepherd’s crook in a storage closet before leaving. What inspired this comic was the fact that there may be no janitor for an outdoor pool, so lifeguards may be required to hose down the locker rooms every night. Not very many lifeguards enjoy hosing stuff down. (We can sometimes be a lazy bunch.) If Kurt receives a wet shirt in return for not doing the grunt work, maybe next time, he’ll pitch in!