At the aquatic facility where I work, we are notorious for our lock collection. There have been as many as 15 locks at once in the lost and found. It would be great if lap swimmers told us the combinations before they decide to leave them. That way lifeguards wouldn’t be sitting in the office trying to crack the code, with our ears pressed against the tumbler. Just imagine, if a lap swimmer was on his way out the door and commented, “By the way, I left my combination lock on locker 24 and I’ve taken the pleasure of writing down the combination for you and here it is.” This would sure save lifeguards a heap of time because then we could stop fiddling with all those combination locks. And I could stop telling patrons, “We do provide locks, but they don’t open.” Also in the legal sense, it’s a little disconcerting to full time staff if one of the lifeguards actually cracks a lock open. I don’t want to go through another background check, do you?
Ian Johnson was born with a crazy cartoon character perspective on the real world. “Suits and Guarders” is loosely based on his life as a lifeguard and swim instructor at a local pool. Any resemblance of characters in this work to persons, drawn or imagined, is purely coincidental.