Blog for Suits and Guarders--a cartoon by Ian Johnson

Did I Mention That I Am Crazy?!

11/28/2017

Jonathan is so accommodating!

This comic is rolling out on Tapastic this week! It’s kind of sweet…. in a goofy way. Truth be told, I did wave my arms back and forth just like this because the sensor is up high and registers movement coming towards the door. If you stand still and try to push the door open, it won’t budge. Meanwhile, high school swimming is kicking in full gear right now at the pool and even though I’m not working as many hours, I still get plenty of comic material. Darn! I just can’t get a decent break!

School seems to be going pretty well or so I think. My instructor probably thinks I’m crazy, because I decided to put additional words in the callouts of my drawing assignments just to see if he would catch my mistake. The callout or description given was, “bolt welded to I-beam” but I wrote, “bolt welded to I-’Jim’ beam.” I know he found the extra word, because with an amused grin on his face, he asked another student if he was also going to pull the same stunt. The student just looked at him in a bewildered manner. This may very well be the reason why I was handed an additional drawing assignment to do on my own. This way, I would have less time to put silly quotations in the drawings. Did I mention that I am crazy?! Oh yes, I did. Anyway, I’m really enjoying my studies.

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Sounds Greasy to Me

11/20/2017

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It is true that pumpkins float in the water. Because of this, the pool where I work has an event called the “Pumpkin Splash” every October with lots of little pumpkins floating in the water. However, putting anything else in the pool this season is probably a bad idea. We already have lots of high school swim teams coming in, so we barely have time to squeegee!

Bernard is one of the more innocent lifeguard characters among the staff of my fictional City Park Pool, or so it seems. If Thomas is set up to do something, Bernard is usually at the forefront of the scheme, while hiding behind a cartoon panel somewhere. Thomas probably didn’t realize that this was a setup, but he was quickly convinced after Ellen yelled at him for his brilliant idea. Or was that Bernard’s brilliant idea? We may never know.

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By the Way, Stop Being So Funny!

11/7/2017

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Who draws the cartoonist’s cartoons?

Sometimes illogical experiences can throw Kurt off balance. It is true that when anyone (including a lifeguard) is swimming, there has to be a lifeguard present. In response to this bewildering rule, I began jotting down other professions that might have similar restraints.

It is entirely possible that I chose the wrong profession to be in. One problem with being a cartoonist is that you can’t rely on anyone to document something funny. You have to do that yourself. You have to create the gag as you see it in your mind.

Currently, there are some 50 gags jotted down in my green notebook in which there is very little time to put them on paper. And it isn’t going to get any better, because more ideas keep coming to me and I keep writing more gags on those pages.

So the time has come for me to revert to more drastic measures. Basically, it boils down to two solutions: I either need to cut school or work hours, or I just need to isolate myself from life so I don’t get any funny ideas. Do you know how hard it is to ask people not to be funny? Some will just burst out laughing. I must find a way to manage my time better. But seriously, could you please just stop being so funny?!

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Did I Mention That I Am Crazy?!

Sounds Greasy to Me

By the Way, Stop Being So Funny!

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