Blog for Suits and Guarders--a cartoon by Ian Johnson - Suits and Guarders

Watch for the Whistle

1/12/2020

Here is the most recent comic strip for “Suits and Guarders.” As you can see, I’ve taken pictures of each panel, because I do not have access to a scanner. While I’d rather do a scan, this does show you how the panels look without touching up.

This comic was inspired by a co-worker who was attempting to catapult his whistle clear across the pool. He got as far as the lifeguard stand which was only about 15 feet away, but it wasn’t a total loss because the idea made it into a comic strip. It’s amazing how friends will perform crazy stunts once they know there’s a chance of it being recorded on paper. All I said was something along the lines of, “Local lifeguard hits swimmer with whistle,” and our wheels started spinning. Since he knew about the comic strip I drew and was a fan of it as well, he not only encouraged me to draw it, but came up with the outline and dialog for each panel. All I really had to do was illustrate it and bring it to life. I guess my work just got easier.

I finished my next to last semester and though I only had two classes it felt like I was doing a bit more. Math is a subject that I am pretty good at, however, I never really applied myself before. So, returning to it was like building a jigsaw puzzle with multiple formulas--some things I remembered and other things were completely forgotten. Fortunately, I had an instructor that explained how to utilize the formulas as well as how to understand the functions. My art class was a breeze, but like every other class, it required time out of class. And art requires a great deal of time and effort. I found that finding time to complete projects was my biggest challenge. The pictures below are part of my final project, and though this isn't a Halloween blog, the reduced value charcoal portrait sure does make it seem that way. Reduced value charcoal means that all values are minimized or reduced to three shades: black, white and gray. This art project confirmed something I have always known. I am downright scary!

For this coming year, I will be finishing my final semester and then I'll have my associates in Architectural Technology. I am hoping to find an internship this semester so I can hit the ground running. Not sure where I’ll be, but it will sure be exciting, challenging, and as a cartoonist, it will be humorous…. Well, for me anyway. I find humor everywhere!

Lessons in Laughter

6/6/2018

Sketches of a few scenes from the day.

Currently with my summer school schedule, I am not really available to work much at the pool, except for Fridays. This Friday, I was reunited with many lap swimmers whom I have not seen in months. One even gave me a hug just because we had not talked in ages. Another lap swimmer jokingly asked me in response to my previous blog if I had been to any good picnics recently. The small community of lap swimmers is the real reason why I love working morning shifts.

But the real gift of this past Friday came during recreational swim when a group of young guys walked in for free swim. They were all between the ages of 16 and 19 so I knew from the moment they walked out onto the pool deck that there was going to be some limit testing. There are easily eight comics here. Do you agree?

A few of the guys did not bring a swimsuit, so they decided to check the lost and found hamper on the deck, wearing only their underwear! (We talked about other ways they could have handled this.)
One guy jumped into the pool with his socks on and three more were going to do the same thing but I had the first guy hop out and take off his soaking wet socks.
One did a backflip off the side so I had him sit out for ten minutes.
Another guy was running and slipped on the deck. I checked to be sure that he was okay and then said in a cheeky tone, “I guess we just learned why we don’t run on the deck.” Of course, he and his friends all laughed.
Another proceeded to run after witnessing his friend slip and fall so I sat both of them out.
I told the guys to use the two step rule when jumping in the deep end. This is just a way to slow down the momentum before hitting the water. I quizzed one of them about how many steps he really took. He hesitated and held up three fingers with a grin on his face.
One guy acted like he was throwing the basketball into the hoop, but instead, threw it at another guy’s head.
The second guy I sat out for running said, “I have one more minute left, right?” I shook my head with a smile and said, “Three more.” All his friends burst out laughing.

All of the stories above are true, without fabrication or exaggeration.

One of the guys was really interested in being a better swimmer and was asking about taking swim lessons. He also had the desire to learn how to do a flip turn. He was asking questions about how it was done. When I got off the stand on my down rotation, I hopped in the water and gave him the basics, and he probably wasn’t expecting that to happen. Once I gave some instruction to him, two more of his friends had joined in, and then another two. Sure enough, I was teaching all ten of them how to do a flip turn and how to dive from the side by the end of my shift.

Since Friday, I have spent time writing down dialog and thinking about developing a few teenage characters to add to the mix of Suits and Guarders. While I am still not sure where this will go, one thing is certain--it will be funny. And the characters will be very likeable because all of these guys were. Even though I don’t often work at the pool anymore, these strange, eventful and hilarious moments always seem to find me which is why I am still writing comic strips!

What Did the Lifeguard Say?

4/16/2018

The truth is, Kurt didn’t tell him yes or no. Probably because he would have tried to pull the same stunt when he was this kid’s age.

If you want to inspire yourself to laugh more, being around kids is the best way to accomplish this. A kid asked me something similar to this once, however, it was much more skilled towards trickery and less obvious like it’s written here. The kid was sneaky and quite a handful, but what gave it away was the cheeky grin on his face which he was trying to hide when he asked the question. I replied back to him with something along the lines of, “Do you think that’s a good idea?” He knew it was wrong, but no one can blame a kid for genuinely asking a question---no matter how profound it may be. Overall, I think the kid was just curious to see what my response was.

It’s funny how children act towards lifeguards. Many of them know the rules because they are there frequently in the summertime, but they still enjoy pushing the boundaries just a little further each time. If the lifeguards handle this well and enforce the rules consistently, there is actually more respect between the kids and lifeguards, not at first, but overtime. Every child wants attention, but what they really want is someone who’s almost like a mentor, someone who accepts them. When they come to a pool, that authority figure is the lifeguard. If they obey the pool rules, they get to stay there all day, well, at least until closing time. You don’t have to do too much as a lifeguard to be liked by kids. Sometimes just giving a sincere look like Kurt does in the third panel is all that is needed.

The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing?

1/30/2018

No dancers or swimmers were injured in the making of this comic.

I don’t think any dancers follow my blog. But If they did, they might have a good laugh over this cartoon! Or maybe just point out that I don’t know my dance moves.

Swim coaches highly encourage stretching exercises before every meet or practice. Stretching not only decreases your chance of injury in the water, but nearly eliminates injuries on dry land too. I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a kid, or an adult for that matter, say, “Ouch! I just hurt myself stretching!” On the other hand, I wouldn’t say it’s not possible. So if you’re going to try to prove that point, please don’t injure yourself.

If you guessed that this is based on a true story, then you would be correct. A group of high school swimmers decided that they were going to take up dancing one day and started performing pirouettes across the pool deck. Sure, lifeguards have to tell kids on occasion not to run. And of course, high school swimmers know not to run on the pool deck. However, from a teenager’s perspective, the pool rules don’t say anything about dancing, and I don’t think they ever will, unless jumping three feet in the air over a puddle of standing water becomes a regular dance move. So while you might say this wasn’t smart, it was actually very graceful. I tried to capture that grace here and the total reckless abandon of possibly falling and breaking a limb. How did I do?

Thankfully no characters (real high school swimmers or cartoon swimmers) were injured that day because the dancing was stopped by a lifeguard before it happened (inside or outside of the cartoon panels). I think it’s safe to say that only in a comic strip where the gag is fabricated beyond reality, will an incident like this ever appear to be funny.

By the Way, Stop Being So Funny!

11/7/2017

Who draws the cartoonist’s cartoons?

Sometimes illogical experiences can throw Kurt off balance. It is true that when anyone (including a lifeguard) is swimming, there has to be a lifeguard present. In response to this bewildering rule, I began jotting down other professions that might have similar restraints.

It is entirely possible that I chose the wrong profession to be in. One problem with being a cartoonist is that you can’t rely on anyone to document something funny. You have to do that yourself. You have to create the gag as you see it in your mind.

Currently, there are some 50 gags jotted down in my green notebook in which there is very little time to put them on paper. And it isn’t going to get any better, because more ideas keep coming to me and I keep writing more gags on those pages.

So the time has come for me to revert to more drastic measures. Basically, it boils down to two solutions: I either need to cut school or work hours, or I just need to isolate myself from life so I don’t get any funny ideas. Do you know how hard it is to ask people not to be funny? Some will just burst out laughing. I must find a way to manage my time better. But seriously, could you please just stop being so funny?!

He Didn't Mean It!

10/9/2017

"Walk!"

We are all creatures of habit. If we haven’t been taught to hear or acknowledge instruction, we will make mistakes. Kurt is making the argument that bad decisions should have consequences, but not every deed in this world will be punished. This cartoon was created from a story that really should have scared me away from lifeguarding, but because it was told from a humorous perspective, it convinced me that I could overcome stressful situations.

About 10 years ago, I overheard two guys discussing the trials they encountered while lifeguarding at an outdoor pool. These two were obviously best buds, but it was clear that they were trying to one-up the other, even if it meant a little bending of the truth. One of them started explaining to his friend about the pool deck having a slight dip where water would collect. Kids would run back and forth, time and time again not heeding his warning to walk on the pool deck. Eventually a kid slipped and began bleeding “everywhere” he said, exaggerating with big arms. Or so the story goes.

Don’t worry gentle reader: Apparently, the kid was able to walk away after a little first aid and ice. When this guy finished his story, I remember the words he exclaimed quite vividly,“I truly felt bad for the kid, but there was also a part of me, in the back of my mind, that said, ‘I tried to tell you!’ ” And now you see why I chose Kurt for the strip.

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Clear the Pool!.

8/23/2017

In the event of unnecessary screaming of kids, please exit through locker rooms.

There is always that one joy that puts a smile on a lazy lifeguard’s face. After all, if the pool is just empty and there is no inclement weather, sometimes lifeguards are subjected to doing cleaning tasks such as polishing stainless steel or scrubbing the scum line. Yuck!
When it thunders however, it is deemed unsafe and it is strongly advised that no one enters the deck. Goodbye work!

During a thunderstorm, the pool is cleared, with all access doors locked. And guards usually sit in the guard office and talk about dumb things that happened to them. There is also one lucky guard that has to sit outside or within earshot range to listen for any claps of thunder. This is the guard that patrons watch like a hawk, because when you’re waiting to get back in the pool, there’s nothing better to do. I can assure you, gentle reader, that though it seems we’re not doing our job, then you’re right, it’s one of the few times we actually can.

There have always been lifeguards that joke about dropping chocolate bars in the pool as an excuse to kick people out. But I have yet to see a bunch of lifeguards hide behind the pump room shaking tin foil and beating old trash can lids together.

Don't Remind Me

5/22/2017

The long days of hot summer heat are coming upon us again. Lifeguards don’t always look forward to this season because of the fluctuation in patronage. Being near the water presents unpredictable circumstances and sometimes fatal ones. Here is a re-post of the water safety tips from last year. It is a good reminder for all of us.

General Safety Tips:
Always have an understanding of the rules at each destination where you swim.

Always swim with a buddy. Whether you are young or old, a beginner or a competitive swimmer, never swim alone.

Always stay hydrated by drinking water or eating hydrating snacks (popsicles, watermelon or other fruit), especially when outdoors.

Always use sun protection: hats, clothing, and lotions which are SPF 15+.

No lifeguard on duty:
Hotel pools are the best example of “Swim at your own risk.” Parents are the lifeguards at these pools. Please teach children that they must wait for parent’s permission before entering the pool area and before they enter the water. Be aware of all children in the water. Be vigilant!

Lifeguard on duty:
Lifeguards are employed for safety. Parents should be present and keep an eye on children. With a lifeguard on duty, you don’t have to watch them like a hawk, but be present to help with understanding and following of rules.

Lake/Beach:
Always swim in the designated area. If the area is not defined, be cognizant of how far you venture out because it’s difficult to determine depth in murky water.

Remove any objects that are unsafe. Let a lifeguard know if there is a dangerous object in the water. (Jellyfish, broken glass, large branches)

Boating:
In states where no life jacket law is in place, the US Coast Guard mandates that anyone under the age of 13 years wear a life vest. So the best rule is this: Always wear a life jacket when you are boating!

Stay safe, and have a great summer!

When I Grow Up....

5/11/2017

When lifeguarding during recreational swim, it’s easy to feel too forceful, too stern and sometimes bossy when enforcing rules. The ultimate question is, “At what point does the activity becomes unsafe?”

Since my people skills are strong, some kids will ask me the reason for the rule that I am enforcing. Generally, I have the patience and the time to briefly describe why.

Young children are the best students because they will always ask questions. For some, simply telling them it’s wrong isn’t enough for them to stop, especially if they don’t understand why the activity is unsafe. Communication is often the key to keeping safety a priority.

Take the time to tell young people the why for the rules.

Retirement

5/1/2017

This week’s blog and cartoon is written by a former co-worker and friend of mine, Kendy Madden. It is about her experiences and retirement from lifeguarding.

Retirement by Kendy Madden

Most people train to be lifeguards when they are in high school. I didn’t learn the necessary skills until I was in my mid 60s. I was motivated because I needed money for an upcoming adventure, and already worked at a pool as a water aerobics exercise leader.

While I have spent most of my life around pools, lakes and oceans and the opportunities each provides, most of it had been for recreation purposes, all about myself, rather than anyone else.

Watching accomplished swimmers cruise their laps flawlessly was hypnotic and, frankly, boring. It was the guarding of swim lesson participants, children and adults, as they struggled to acquire skills and conquer fears that made guarding exciting and purposeful for me. I admired the high school swim team kids who would climb out of warm beds in predawn winter darkness to practice for the next meet.

One of the things I found most difficult about guarding was my inability at times to separate my professional obligations from my parental opinions. Watching a pack of teenaged boys relentlessly chase a female camp mate around the pool in hopes of touching her got my whistle to my mouth one day. I told her I would stop them if she wanted a break from their ardor. She game me a smile and a giggle, replied that she liked it and swam off with the young swains in hot pursuit. The mother in me shivered.

It was with mixed feelings that I retired from guarding. The prospect of a wrenched shoulder from an overzealous rescue during training sessions, the 4:30 am wake-up alarm to be on time for the first guard shift of the day, and the hair in the drains overshadowed the sense of security that I felt I provided for the patrons. Becoming a lifeguard has changed me and my relationship to water forever. I will never stop watching all those around me who dip their toes into that perilous and delicious elixir, be it salty, sweet or chlorinated.