Blog for Suits and Guarders--a cartoon by Ian Johnson - Suits and Guarders

I Am a Renaissance Man

9/11/2018

One of the first "Suits and Guarders" comics I created.

All in a day's work!

The first comic here is an older piece that many subscribers have probably seen; the other is a recent work that is similar. They each have a poetic feel to them that is aided by the use of illustrations. Apart from the lettering and subtle changes to Jonathan’s features, it’s surprising just how little has changed with the drawing style over the three years between the two comics. Do you see how those architecture courses improved my lettering?

The second cartoon is simply one I had to share with subscribers. This comic blends all of the major tasks, issues and idiosyncrasies of lifeguarding into eight neat panels. Also, unlike the other, each panel has a rhyming couplet and many are in iambic pentameter. I guess that Shakespeare fellow really did have an influence on me after all! This comic is also one of the few to feature all of the lifeguards in one comic, so this one is quite a treat! Another amusing point: when I pulled out the older comic this morning, I realized that they are exactly 300 comics apart. The first is number 22, and the second is 322. I can assure you, that wasn’t planned. That’s probably why I laughed out loud when I saw it.

On another tangent, recently my family was coming home from a baseball game and my dad spotted a drafting table sitting on the side of the road in our neighborhood. After pulling around and inspecting it, we figured out that there were no problems with it except that we couldn’t fit it into the car. This thing was 5’ x 4’ x 3’ standing up. We put it on top of the roof, securing it with the runners and our arms. Our arms were about to fall off when we got to the house….just kidding! Well, actually no, not kidding but it wasn’t very far and we drove very slowly.

The next morning, I showed my instructor our “barn find” with pictures on my phone. Thank goodness for cameras, because there was no way I was strapping a drafting table to my four-banger. After he looks at it, he takes me to the supply closet and pulls out a straight edge and says, “The school had these ordered, but they didn’t fit the drafting desks.” So now I have a $200/$300 drafting table with a straight edge which took zero dollars out of my wallet. I know God gave me a sense of humor and a love for comics, but now I’m convinced he wants my to be an architect!

Guidelines, Deadlines and Compressions

8/30/2018

Kurt being Kurt, and Ellen being Ellen.

There was a guy that actually did this at an in-service training over the summer. He did it as a means to show how NOT to do compressions on a victim. This person had one of those amusing personalities…...in fact, this person was me. Strange enough how all the gags I’ve performed at the pool seem to reflect the closest with the manner of my cartoon character Kurt. I guess one could say I am slowly transforming into him. (maniacal laugh “bwhahahaha-”)

I finished another batch of comics recently and plan to do one more batch before homework picks up. The total I am pushing to accomplish during the month of August is 18. I have jokingly told my parents that I can finish in three years’ time what a syndicated cartoonist does in a year. Just wait ‘til it’s my only job and then I’ll have to stick to a real deadline mandated by someone who isn’t me! It’s kinda funny to think that I work for myself. It doesn’t pay yet….so I guess it’s not really work at all.

The Tangled Hose

8/20/2018

I really love Thomas' posture in this one.

One of the lessons I’ve learned in life: Everyone is good at something. One person can’t be good at everything.

Many comics are fueled by the element of reaction.

Jonathan and Bernard are the straight men of this comic strip, but you can quickly see that they have a little flare for stirring up trouble. I don’t think they will follow through on this one because there is no way that Thomas is going to miraculously become the next Houdini.

I’m still tied up at the moment in this one.

The reference to “Caliban” comes from Shakespeare’s “The Tempest.” Caliban is a monster that dwells on an island somewhere near Naples and in one of the acts, he meets a drunkard by the name of Stephano and becomes fixated on his wine. When Caliban is crawling about praising him for the contents of his bottle, Stephano says “Come, swear to that, kiss the book. I will furnish it anon with new contents, swear.” Like Caliban, Thomas is crawling on the pool deck.

Hose-a-constrictor

7/16/2018

Thomas is tangled!

There is no proper guidebook for housekeeping when one becomes a lifeguard, probably because every facility is different. Instead of a book, lifeguards have a checklist with daily chores which is discussed briefly by supervisors at an in-service. Whether or not the chores get done really depends on how thorough the staff is, how crowded the pool gets, or if we were really paying attention when we were briefed. Personally, I am glad that I don’t have to find something like this in a manual but I might look at it differently if my comics ever come to life.

Even the most coordinated sort of person may sometimes gets stuck in a peculiarly tangled situation. Unfortunately, Thomas is not one of those blessed with the ability of eye-hand coordination! I came up with this idea when I was watching a guard hose down the locker rooms at an outdoor pool about one year ago. While he was walking around with the hose trailing behind him, I began to ponder the “what if” the hose got tangled? The strangest things sure seem to enter my mind.

Now that summer school is over, I will have a little more spare time for cartooning again. This comic is the first of six in a series, because sometimes my imagination just runs wild!

On Making Cartoons

6/25/2018

Three weeks ago, I described the crazy things that can take place during rec swim. This week I reveal the hilarity of the lap swim hours. Lap swim begins at 6:00 in the morning and proceeds throughout the day, but the lively and humorous times generally start around 7:30. I think the reason is that by 7:30, the crowd who are trying to swim and get to work have mostly left. They are literally just trying to “get-er-dun” and get to work on time.

Many of the the lap swimmers where I work know of my cartoon and quite a few of them were my earliest subscribers. It’s all one large family where they jokingly heckle one another if one of them hasn’t been in the water in a while. Sometimes they banter to take a break from swimming laps too. There are many stories that they have shared from their lives, sometimes serious stories and other times just outright funny. Some of these stories, I have made into cartoons, which makes “Suits and Guarders” a fun collaboration, especially when it comes to my “lap swimmer” character.

I printed out the first panel of this comic and posted it on the bulletin board at the pool and encouraged the lap swimmers to fill in the blank on what they thought was the reason for tearing down the diving board. Not everyone draws cartoons, but most people are gifted humorists. I was intrigued at how each response, independent of each other, ranged from being seriously thought out to completely off the wall. Here are the responses, which may become cartoons at a later date:

Because If you didn’t know how to swim and you used it, you would drown.
Too many swimmers were clipping their feet doing flip turns.
Because it was broken!
Increased insurance cost?
People abused the privilege.
To make way for the curly-que 15 foot slide and parachute drop.
Not deep enough water? Someone got hurt?
Wasn’t high enough to hang swimsuits
City or State regulation regarding open deck space.
Too many casualties with the kayakers below.
Click here to see the ending of the comic above: Suits and Guarders on Tapastic.
And for a great example of a “collaborative cartoon,” try “Deep Dark Fears” by Fran Krause also on Tapastic. It will give you new things to shiver about!

Let's Have a Picnic!

5/28/2018

Happy Memorial Day!

Memorial day is a wonderful time for picnics and remembering our soldiers who have given their lives for our freedom. This cartoon is really just about picnics but I thought I would share it with you during this holiday weekend.
There are quite a few outdoor pools that are set up with grills right beside them. So in many ways, this comic was screaming to get written. I think Arnold is hopeful that someone will bring him some food. Kurt, on the other hand, isn’t so sure.

There are perks to having a grilling station near a pool, unless Hansel and Gretel start leaving bread crumbs on the pool deck for the wildlife. Then look out for the furry visitors!

Let Her Rip!!

5/7/2018

Thomas loves hosing things down.

Thomas clearly enjoys hosing down locker rooms, but doesn’t seem to grasp that Kurt may not enjoy it, even though he may deserve a good soaking! This particular strip is part of a set of outdoor comics which I pretty much wrote in one sitting after working at a few outdoor pools. There is a significant contrast in atmosphere, patrons and duties when comparing indoor lifeguarding to outdoor lifeguarding: The beating sunlight and neighborhood recreation swimmers versus a noisy HVAC with light fixtures and the lap swimmer that just got off work.

The secondary duties that a lifeguard has to perform are much different however. For instance, indoor locations require locking up and setting a facility alarm system at closing. Outdoor locations involve locking up as well, but also placing things like a backboard and shepherd’s crook in a storage closet before leaving. What inspired this comic was the fact that there may be no janitor for an outdoor pool, so lifeguards may be required to hose down the locker rooms every night. Not very many lifeguards enjoy hosing stuff down. (We can sometimes be a lazy bunch.) If Kurt receives a wet shirt in return for not doing the grunt work, maybe next time, he’ll pitch in!

The Art of Observance

4/23/2018

Julie's correct! Guys observe too much!

I’m not going to lie. The comment made by Thomas has been true on numerous occasions, so I won’t go into detail on that one. The word Liz might be looking for is something more along the lines of relatable. Of course that would never happen, because if it did, there would be no mystery in the process of girl meets boy and guys might become bored with the whole process of interaction. Gee, imagine that?!

In this case, Julie is right, as always. Guys can be too observant, and yet, it still doesn’t make us more relatable. I know this because guys still go out and make fools of themselves. You may be asking yourself why? It’s plain and simple. We’re guys. Just think of all the entertainment that takes place whenever a guy says to another guy, “Hey, watch this!” I’d say Julie is pretty observant. Anyway, score one for Julie and zip for Liz!

What Did the Lifeguard Say?

4/16/2018

The truth is, Kurt didn’t tell him yes or no. Probably because he would have tried to pull the same stunt when he was this kid’s age.

If you want to inspire yourself to laugh more, being around kids is the best way to accomplish this. A kid asked me something similar to this once, however, it was much more skilled towards trickery and less obvious like it’s written here. The kid was sneaky and quite a handful, but what gave it away was the cheeky grin on his face which he was trying to hide when he asked the question. I replied back to him with something along the lines of, “Do you think that’s a good idea?” He knew it was wrong, but no one can blame a kid for genuinely asking a question---no matter how profound it may be. Overall, I think the kid was just curious to see what my response was.

It’s funny how children act towards lifeguards. Many of them know the rules because they are there frequently in the summertime, but they still enjoy pushing the boundaries just a little further each time. If the lifeguards handle this well and enforce the rules consistently, there is actually more respect between the kids and lifeguards, not at first, but overtime. Every child wants attention, but what they really want is someone who’s almost like a mentor, someone who accepts them. When they come to a pool, that authority figure is the lifeguard. If they obey the pool rules, they get to stay there all day, well, at least until closing time. You don’t have to do too much as a lifeguard to be liked by kids. Sometimes just giving a sincere look like Kurt does in the third panel is all that is needed.

Counting Heads

4/9/2018

Surveillance is and should be the practice of any diligent lifeguard. This method of scanning consists of counting the number of people that are in the water and watching their facial expressions. The common problem that lifeguards face is that every once in awhile, the pool will become so busy that it’s hard to complete a thorough headcount of patrons in the water and have a consistently steady result each time. This is why they set a ratio for a number of guards to patrons. Even though this makes the job easier, it’s still cumbersome because you still need to know exactly how many people you have in the water, what the limit is and what you can handle with the staff that you have.

It’s important to scan the pool quite frequently. In my almost six years of working as a lifeguard, there have been multiple times where I have realized that I am two or three people short. The first time this happened to me, I almost panicked and began asking myself “Why do they even trust 16 year olds like myself with this job?” After I got used to the fact that people actually move around in a pool, the startling sensation kind of went away. Now, whenever I have miscounted the number of patrons in the pool, I end up saying things like, “Well, no one is lying on the bottom so we’re doing great on that end of things.” Always after a minute passes, the two or three missing people reappear from the locker rooms. Hey, I’d much rather scare myself counting patrons that disappear from the premises temporarily than have a bunch of kids stay in the water for hours and hours for my sake because then I start to wonder if they’ve really “held it” that long. Don’t think about that one or you’ll never get in a pool again. Okay, to answer Jonathan’s question: “Why can’t they just stand still?!” The answer is simple: It’s water.