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Floating Up the Eno

2/29/2016

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Kurt likes to wait until the last minute to complete his required swim for work.

​Some of you on facebook and Twitter already know that I have been swimming this thing with racery.com called the Eno River Swim Challenge. It’s a 40 mile race up the Eno River, only you are swimming the distance in a pool and you can start anytime and finish anytime. Racery’s motto is “real races, virtual routes.” In other words, it isn’t a race in the traditional sense; it’s a challenge to make your fitness workout fun and social. Anyway, I just swam 40.5 miles in 25 days, placing 5th among the 74 swimmers who are currently enrolled. So if you are reading this, it’s not too late to start the Eno River Swim Challenge or another race with racery.com (swimming, biking, running) that appeals to you. It is the most fun when you participate with friends or co-workers. A shout out to my supervisor Anne who set all this up for all of us who like to participate in team swimming.
 
I want you to know, gentle reader that yours truly held up his end on being social. Was there ever a doubt that I would not comment, or do my part to “talk” online? I was only reprimanded once by the moderator, “Racery Vika.” (How’s that for a title?) FYI: Vika means to bend, turn, wind but it can also be a woman’s name that means conqueror! Thankfully, I didn’t actually meet the “Racery Vika” in the Eno but I think she must look like “Boadicea” in a swimsuit.
 
Here are some of my comments that I made while swimming:

  • Late start….forgot to set alarm for morning shift!
  • Rocks in my trunks! Move back 3 spaces!
  • Fisherman thought I was a fish. $40 to replace suit.
  • Caught thumbing a ride with a submarine. Move back one mile.
  • Methane explosion! Propel additional 200 yards!
  • Caught swimming in the nude! Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.
  • Stole a jet ski, then totaled it. Move back 5 spaces and lose $500. Bummer! There goes my paycheck.
  • Should I or shouldn’t I? Ahhhh….too late, I did.
  • There’s my Grandma’s house! Hi Grandma, I’ll stop off later for cookies and hugs!
  • Darn it! Now why did I park my car on the other side of the Eno?!!
Hmm, guess I should have signed up for a Racery hike to get back to my virtual car!
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    Ian Johnson was born with a crazy cartoon character perspective on the real world. “Suits and Guarders” is loosely based on his life as a lifeguard and swim instructor at a local pool. Any resemblance of characters in this work to persons, drawn or imagined, is purely coincidental.

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